My wife and I are clean freaks. I don’t even know if that’s the politically correct term anymore, but it’s probably accurate. We like things picked up, the kitchen counters clean, the bed made, the floors vacuumed and things generally put back where they belong. And there is one feeling we both absolutely love: coming home to a really clean house.
Maybe we’ve been gone all day, or maybe we’ve been out of town for several days. You walk through the door, put your stuff down, look around and everything is clean, quiet and in order. It just hits different. For years, I assumed that was simply because we’re neat people, but there’s actually more going on than that.
Think about what happens when you walk into the opposite environment. There’s mail stacked on the counter, a couple of Amazon boxes by the door, dishes in the sink, shoes scattered around and a load of laundry sitting in a basket. Something you were going to put away three days ago is still sitting exactly where you left it. You may not consciously think, This environment is causing me stress, but your house is quietly talking to you.
It’s almost as if every unfinished thing is saying, Deal with me. Put me away. Don’t forget about me. You still haven’t finished this. Suddenly, the place you’re supposed to relax has become a giant visual to-do list. Researchers who have studied clutter and the way we process our surroundings have found that visually busy environments can compete for our attention, and other research has found connections between how people describe their homes—particularly as cluttered or unfinished—and their stress and mood.
That makes a lot of sense to me, because when I walk into a clean house, I don’t see twenty things asking for my attention. I see almost nothing that needs to be dealt with. There’s a sense of calm and order that settles over the room, and maybe over me too. Sometimes nothing feels pretty darn good.
Why a Clean Space Feels So Good
Have you ever walked into a nice hotel room after traveling all day and immediately felt yourself relax? Part of that is obviously because you’re away from your normal routine, but I think there’s another reason. The bed is made, the bathroom is clean, the towels are folded, the countertops are empty and there aren’t piles of papers or unfinished projects staring at you. For a little while, at least, nothing in that room needs anything from you.
That may be one reason a neat, orderly home can feel so restorative. There is less visual noise and less competing for your attention. Your surroundings aren’t reminding you of everything you still need to do. Instead of feeling like one more responsibility, your home begins to feel like a place where you can actually recover from the responsibilities you already have.
Now, before someone reads this and thinks I’m suggesting we all start following our families around with a bottle of Windex, that’s not what I mean. A home should look like people live there. There are going to be shoes by the door, coffee cups on the table, dog toys on the floor and blankets on the couch. If you have children or grandchildren around, all bets are off anyway.
There is a big difference between a home that is lived in and one that constantly feels chaotic. I’m also not suggesting that everyone should care about cleanliness as much as my wife and I do, because people are wired differently. What feels cluttered to one person may feel perfectly comfortable to someone else. Still, I think many of us underestimate how much our physical surroundings affect the way we feel.
Creating a Little Peace at Home
Life gives us plenty of things we can’t control. Work problems, deadlines, traffic, the economy, other people’s attitudes, news alerts, family issues and schedules can all create a steady stream of mental noise. Then you come home. While you can’t fix all of those things, you can create a place where they don’t feel quite as loud.
This is actually how I often describe it to people: “When I walk into a clean and orderly home, my brain just relaxes!” That’s really what it feels like. There’s an almost immediate Ahhh…this is nice moment when everything around you feels settled and nothing seems to be demanding your attention.
You can clear the counter, put a few things away, make the bed and walk into a room where your brain sees order instead of another list of unfinished tasks. Maybe that’s why my wife and I love coming home to a clean house so much. It isn’t really about being clean freaks. It’s about the feeling that comes with it.
I’ve spent more than two decades helping people buy and sell homes, which means I’ve talked endlessly about square footage, bedrooms, bathrooms, updates, neighborhoods, school districts and resale value. All of those things matter, but there’s something about a home that’s much harder to put on an MLS sheet: How does it make you feel when you walk through the door?
Because home isn’t just where we keep our stuff. It’s where we retreat from everything else. Maybe keeping it reasonably clean and orderly isn’t really about having a picture-perfect house at all. Maybe it’s about creating one place in your life where the noise gets quieter, things feel settled and you can walk through the door and think, Ahhh. I’m home.